How Was It For You (2015)?


 


A year in your life is a pretty long time. It would be difficult to dismiss 365 days as an entirely crappy year, or adversely, a completely brilliant period of time. I don’t really know why we do this; await the eve of a new year to try to assess how we have progressed as a person. Are we any more self-actualised than the person we were 365 days ago? Do we really need to deliberate over these changes (or lack of changes)? Why don’t we take stock of our lives on our birthdays instead? I’ve just turned 44 so why didn’t I take a long hard look at my life earlier this month? However, if I’m going to do this look back over my year (and I am – I’ve got to write about something), I suppose this year I have made a start at attempting to really define myself as the person I want to be. But in spite of that and perhaps because of it, I have ignored a lot of my internal struggles. Either way, as years go, 2015 has been fairly significant for me.

This was the year I finally got my foot on the first rung of the ladder – the writing ladder (if you will). If you follow this blog or know me in any way, shape or form – you’ll be horribly bored of hearing that I finally got around to self-publishing my first novel in January. The book (and it’s 2nd and 3rd volume) was something I had been secretly working on for years but was never confident about sharing with the world. And I’m not really sure why, but last January enough was enough and I decided to put the damn thing out there and to hell with the consequences. Nearly a year has gone by since I took the plunge and even though I’m not on the best-seller list yet, the sales steadily improve. The second book is nearly ready and the third is ready for editing. Oh, and the first book is now in paperback so it’s nice to see something that I have written finally in the confines of a glossy-covered book. And even if nothing ever comes of it, at least it’s one job ticked off the bucket list.

As an unforeseen offshoot of the book, in February 2015 I started this blog. Like most authors, the blog only came about because I’d read that I was supposed to have one – y’know, give readers a taste of my writing style etc. And considering I didn’t even know what to write about at first, comparatively (if we’re talking views and visitors and interest), the blog has been more successful than the book. I think this may be because the blog developed into being the one place (apart from the innermost recesses of my mind) where I felt comfortable enough to be honest; to really give of myself. Sometimes I wonder if I give too much away but I have come to believe that if you can’t really give of yourself, then you can’t call yourself a writer. And people seem to like honesty – who knew. I had never really set out to be a blogger, but I have grown to love the blog. It’s my diary. But other projects and commitments have dictated that I can’t give as much time to the blog as I’d like – so maybe in 2016 I might be a little bit more elusive. Still, I’d like to think I’ll still be here in January 2017 and not become one of the many that simply fade away (I see that happen a lot). I still have a lot to say – I just need to find more time to say it. Either that or I’ll completely run out of material, burn out and retire from writing altogether. I mean, there’s only so much you need to know about me.

But perhaps that’s enough patting myself on the back. Every year of our lives will have its share of negatives. I’m still the emotionally scarred me that I was last December. I’ve done little to nothing to make inroads into fixing my bereaved self. However, I have become incredibly skilled at forgetting and ignoring. I’m super awesome at that. And then there’s that procrastinating part of my psyche that is still unwilling to take any risks and change my circumstances. I know life is short; I should know that better than most people but I am still unwilling to make the major life changes that would make my day-to-day life a happier place. Don’t get me wrong, I have a happy home life – within my nuclear family, life is hunky-dory. I’m not griping about that. But I’m still not doing what I want to do, being who I need to be. All too often I play it safe because the fear of failure looms heavy over me. Heavier than it should. And if anything has to change, it’s got to be that. Still, I’m aware of it and the awareness has to be a starting point.

So what about you? Has the dawning of 2016 seen you becoming the person you desire to be? Or are you one of those lucky, driven people who has that focused kind of mind which achieves its goals? Or do you have such a easygoing disposition anyway that you’re generally happy with your lot? And if you are one of those people, tell me how you do it. Tell me how to be happy with my lot. I have a roof over my head, food to eat, a great family and friends – so why is there always this missing, nameless thing just out of reach? I know one really ought to live in the moment and appreciate what we have, count our blessings. But I have always been of the mindset that the grass is always greener over there. If only I could just get over there. Anyway, I’m rambling here. I’ve got to learn that every step in the right direction is at least a step – a positive. And I’m sure I’ve been stepping in the right direction in 2015. I’ve got to be happy with the little achievements even if they are little. Lots of little’s make a big, right?

So readers, some of you I know personally and some of you I’ve met purely through your words and encouragement on a computer screen. 2015 has been great for that; lots of new and interesting  people, people from the past reappearing, people from the present steadfastly standing by me. Either way, you all mean a lot to me and thank you. Thank you for sitting-in and offering your comments on my journey and telling me a little bit about yours. It would be a lonelier place without you. Y’know, a bit like Twitter (i.e., walking around your empty house and shouting to yourself about the unfairness of life). Anyway, whatever shenanigans you got up to last night, now sitting there reading this on your sofa on New Year’s Day, gingerly sipping a coffee swiftly chased by a big glass of Berocca and nursing your aching head (like I am), I wish you a Happy New Year, people. Really, I hope it’s 365 days of pure ‘happy’. You never know.


 

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20 thoughts on “How Was It For You (2015)?

  1. Happy New Year Adele, I hope you have a good 2016. I’m looking to create and collaborate more in 2016, I’m happy with my blog but I want to develop on doing videos, so that’s my priority. Plus more “proper” writing!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Happy New Year Adele and all the best for an awesome and amazing 2016! Personally I think – like you say – that all years have their ups and downs and that we cant write them off or declare them brilliant based solely on a mini roller coaster ride. However, I have been inclined to happily put certain years behind me if I experienced a lot of bad luck during that particular year (as in the roller coaster seemed to be only travelling in one direction). I too only started blogging, vlogging and podcasting less than a year ago. I have learned so much along the way, and like you I have met so many new and interesting people. For 2016 I am looking forward to implementing improvements to my blogs, vlog and podcast based on what I’ve learned over the last 365 days. Again, Happy New Year to you and all the best for 2016! 🙂

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  3. Happy New Years Adele! 2015 will be forever known as being a first time Grandma:) Now we will see the years fly by lol The next best of 2015 is meeting new bloggers aka ‘people’ when I started to blog myself. All the best to you and yours,
    Grandma Rose

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  4. Happy New Year, Adele. I’m always taking risks and for me, in 2015 I took another, which I hope does not lead me to drowning myself! Remember, the blog ‘Size Matters’? Well the real Samphire is a 33 foot yacht that I bought in August…and I have never sailed before! I have crewed, but that was about 30 years ago. We have been learning during the summer and plan to sail around the Cyclades Islands in the Spring (‘Bella’s’ legal case permitting). We spent 9 weeks in Asia, but as that was 4 years ago, decided, I was getting too old to be sitting around in the same place and it was about time to see some other parts of the world (well the Greek Islands at least).

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  5. Thank you Adele for another great blog. I really hope that 2016 brings you closer to your truest dreams. Hell knows you deserve it. It was my pleasure to meet you in 2015 and I can already here myself blogging in the future, ‘well of course, I met Archer back in 2015 and I knew then…’ Go for it.
    I got sent about 25 million positive memes in 2015 but 1 resonated with me. Something along the lines of ‘we are what we repeatedly do’, probably bastardized it but that’s how I see my 2016. Taking the first step to define myself as an author. That and less snacking. We shall see. Now where’s the crackers…

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  6. That year has flown by Adele. I hope your three books take off and this time next year you’ll be writing this from the Bahamas.
    I’m aiming to publish my full length novel this year, but first I need to get back into good shape for my all important author profile pic.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow, that’s great news, Jack! I’ll be looking out for your novel! Yes I feel we do need a real profile pic of you, that scribing chap is very nice but it would be good to find out what the real you looks like! 😉

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  7. Happy 2016. Adele! I will celebrate the firdst anniversary of my book in April, and am thinking about lining up some friends to video/record their reading of a faovrite poem.I also want to finish a YA manuscript and tidy up a second poetry manuscript..

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  8. I wrote a whole big thing in response to this blog. Then I thought it’s better suited as a blog post. So I’ll probably write one and figure out a way to connect it to this one.

    For now, I’ll just say that what you’re “missing,” Adele isn’t something that can be filled with publishing one book or ten million. As blessed as they are, it’s not even about your awesome hubbie or how many wonderful kids you have (and if Erin is an indication of the rest, I’m confident they’re all amazing). It’s about the decisions you make for yourself as an individual. Because, no matter how much we love other people, one glaring, undeniable fact remains: our soul entered this world alone, no one else ever fully experiences this life as we individually do, and we will all inevitably exit this world alone (that is, apart from other human beings).

    The pain, confusion, and anxiety we feel is a result of seeking and relying on a glass reality that is built on a foundation of sand. And generally, people who are intellectually more geared toward facing the truth of reality more honestly (and bravely) than others experience that greater, perpetually nagging distress precisely because they are in conflict between what is real (and right) and what is illusion (wrong). Folks who buy wholesale the falsity that everything is and will be alright just because they wish it to be typically have an “easier” time coasting through life – because they usually don’t bother confronting the tougher, challenging questions. They seek the easy, self-indulgent path that promotes a more self-validating outlook and self-image.

    Yeah, this is crazy talk in the eyes of the politically correct where unpleasantness= negativity= wrong. But what Einstein said that all truth and good will be fun and easy to accept at first encounter? And why do people follow that kind of self-serving logic, like lemmings?

    Wow, just realized this is blog-worthy in itself. 😀

    Liked by 1 person

      • I don’t know how it works out that way, except that people are just blessed that way at birth. And it could explain why you and your daughter are such naturally captivating storytellers and writers.

        Ya know, a good writer is a always good storyteller. But a good storyteller isn’t always a good writer. Find someone who’s both and you’ve got the makings of a Jane Austin or Shakespeare – or, more contemporarily, J. K. Rowling or Tom Clancy.

        You and Erin are very good storytellers and writers (speaking about the artistry as well, not merely the technical end). And I keep mentioning you both not to of course compare you to each other in a competitive way, but to highlight the very apparent fact that both of you have a narrative voice that resonates uniquely and genuinely.

        Now, while I appreciate your generous remarks about my blog and posts, please don’t ever shortchange yourself, mon amie. You’re an enchanting storyteller and writer, which in this case also makes you a great blogger. Some blogs, yes, will be better than others (as compared to our own or others). But that’s the nature of the game and the trade.

        When I write, I’m not thinking, “okay…now how can I top Adele’s latest blog, which was off the hook?” I’m always competing with myself. It’s also true though that I think about why some writers or content is better than others. Obviously, there are writers more skilled and experienced than me – and I’m talking about folks who display their ware on social media like Google+. Heck, Adele, you exhibit a style of writing that totally enthralls me. Manage it right, and it’ll definitely wind up becoming part of your money-maker.

        Learning from others makes us better, right? And this I think is the idea. Like the great Nietzsche (1844-1900) said, “That which does not befuddle awesome writers like Adele and Aleks makes them even more awesome writers.”

        Don’t believe me? Go ahead, look it up. He absolutely said that before died. I think they were his last words.

        Liked by 1 person

  9. Pingback: How Was It For You (2015)? | Aleks K. Shaw

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