The Red Carpet

              

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Oh no…wait…I’ve just this minute realised something. Now I have kindly been nominated for another blogging-style award by two separate people – don’t get excited or anything, there was no big cash-prize (yes, I know, I was disappointed too). And those two nominators (the lovely A J Colher [I’m a big fan of your work!] and the equally lovely Baroness Buttercup [one of the first bloggers I ever followed religiously – I am also a big fan of your work!]). Don’t you just love brackets within brackets? I know I do. Anyway, I thought – cool, I’ve been nominated twice so I’ll just *lazily* use it as this weekend’s blog post. But ‘lo’, I’ve just noticed that I’ve been nominated for two separate awards! Neither one encompassing a big cash-prize. So I thought I’d cheekily combine the two awards to do one bumper-award-post.

So I’ll be honest, I’m favouring the ‘Sisterhood of the World Blogger’s Award’ rather than ‘The Beautiful Blogger Award’ because the latter is pretty much five random facts about yourself and I’ve done that before in the ‘Liebster Award’ – which didn’t come with a big cash-prize either (I could provide you a handy link to that blog post but I won’t because A: I can’t be arsed and B: You don’t care). And as wildly interesting as I am, I can’t think up any more random facts about me. So I’m going to answer the mad-cap questions as set by Baroness Buttercup. Then I’m going to ask 10 mad questions of my own and nominate three other bloggers who I admire – if this isn’t you then it’s because A: you’ve already been nominated B: you can’t stand this sort of thing C: we’ve had a recent falling out over the 1975 ‘Cod War’ breaking out between Britain and Iceland when Iceland extended its fishing rights to 200 miles. Anyway, here are the rules for those nominated:-

Rule #1 – Thank the person who nominated you.
Rule #2 – Add the award logo to your blog (steal either logo as you see fit).
Rule #3 – Answer the questions asked by your nominator.
Rule #4 – Nominate three other bloggers.
Rule #5 – Ask 10 different questions of your own.

And now for me to answer those proper-mental questions:-

1. Should Jello ever be considered a dessert? Why, or why not?

I’m assuming by jello, you mean jelly (I am English you know). And the answer would be ‘no’. Jelly is a poor man’s substitute for dessert and merely sugary water with gelatine in it. It is only suitable for kids parties with ice-cream (and even then it never gets eaten). Oh unless it’s made into trifle, then I’ll eat it.

2. What song did you happily sing, all loud and proud, before realizing you’d been singing the wrong lyrics all along?

Well, the only one that comes to mind is fairly recent. Taylor Swift’s ‘Blank Space’. All along I’d been singing, ‘all you Starbucks lovers who think I’m insane’, when actually the words officially were, ‘got a long list of ex-lovers, they’ll tell you I’m insane’. It’s an easy mistake to make.

3. If you weren’t such a brilliant and awe-inspiring writer, what other skill/ability/talent would you want to have?

I’d very much like to be able to play an instrument proficiently. Preferably the piano. I started teaching myself guitar once but since I have never stuck at anything in my life, oddly I haven’t become the reincarnation of Eric Clapton. Go figure.

4. Holy crap! What the hell is that thing?

  

I wanna’ say some kind of scorpion/hedgehog love-child?

5. What movie are you most embarrassed to admit you like?

‘You’ve Got Mail’ with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan. I watch it in secret. Tell no one.

6. If you were given the opportunity to go back and re-live one experience from your past, which would it be?

Probably the very first time I met my husband. I didn’t realise the significance at the time and I’d like to go back with the experience of knowing how it worked out. The pessimistic twenty-six-year-old me would be all like, ‘is this going to be yet another disaster?’ and the smug forty-three-year-old me would be all like, ‘no!’.

7. If you have a nickname, what is it? If not, what do you wish yours was?

I very briefly had a nickname (I’m talking for about a week). It was when ‘Dick Tracey’ with Warren Beaty and Madonna was out at the cinema. Work-colleagues nicknamed me ‘Mumbles’ (the character played by Dustin Hoffman) – because I mumble. Obviously. But it didn’t catch on. I feel cheated about that. Let’s not talk of it again.

8. Please take this opportunity to give a shout-out to the best teacher you ever had.

That’s easy, Mr Johnson, my secondary school English teacher. He seemed to think I could do no wrong (but he was wrong about that). I once told him I wanted to be an actress when I grew up but he insisted that I was going to be a writer. He was wrong about that too.

9. Is there any single belief, opinion, practice, etc. that can ruin a whole person for you? Like someone being a baby-seal-clubber would pretty much be a deal-breaker to a PETA activist.

Yes, men who wear trainers with jeans.

10. What is your favourite word, and why?

‘Irascible’. I like it because I enjoy the way it feels in my mouth. Irascible. Mmmm. Also because I am (irascible, that is). My second favourite is ‘truculent’ which pretty much means the same thing.

Okay, now here are my 10 questions for Rachel Rennie (a great blogger who’s work and writing journey I’ve been following since I started mine), Jill Cartlidge (a refreshingly honest blogger, a clever writer and word-smith) and Mike Raven (a witty blogger AND vlogger who always writes an entertaining post!). You can of course ignore my upcoming questions (using The Beautiful Blogger Award rules instead) and just list five interesting facts about yourself, but these are totally ‘boss’ questions that I invented myself so I’d urge you to answer these instead. Or please feel free to ignore the nomination entirely.

1. If you could only eat crisps or chocolate for the rest of your life, which would it be?

2. Which superhero power would you choose (flying is prohibited)?

3. Who was your most embarrassing celebrity crush?

4. Would you prefer to die of extreme cold or extreme heat (you can’t say neither)? 

5. Starter or dessert (you can’t have both)?

6. Which ‘Friends’ character most closely resembles you (sorry if this sounds cheesy but this is a real psychological evaluation and will speak volumes about you. Probably)?

7. When you were a child, what was your first choice of profession?

8. What epitaph would you like inscribed on your tombstone?

9. What was the WORST book you ever read (if it’s mine, I’ll kill you)?

10. What is your least favourite word (mine is ‘moist’, just for an example)?

Well I hope this post has been fun and enlightening and not a bit tiresome for you non-bloggers out there. I’d actually really like to see my non-blogging friends answer the above questions in the comments section below! It sucks about the big cash-prize, but these awards are really just about spreading the blogging love and showcasing other writers that you admire and would like to promote. I’d give big cash-prizes to all of you if I could.

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