People Come and People Go (A Guest Post by Rachel Rennie)

People will come and go in our lives. Many of which will leave their mark on us. These marks can be positive or negative but one thing is for certain, these marks shape who we are, who we become.

Like our Kindergarten teacher. The first teacher many of us will have. He/she will teach us some pretty important life skills. There is the saying, “Everything I needed to know about life I learned in kindergarten.” How true is this? We learned how to make friends and lose them, all in five minutes! How to tie our shoes or print our name. For those who went to daycare or preschool, they may have learned this stuff before the rest of us. But that first teacher, that first authoritative figure other than our parents will leave their mark on us.

Our first school friend who was probably just as shy and afraid as we were at the time. Who took that chance in saying “hi”. They taught us to be brave, to take a risk.

Or the opposite, the school bully. They taught us to put our defences up and to be on guard. To not take things for granted and to think twice before putting our trust out there into the world. There are varying levels or degrees of bullying and I am sure most people have been victim at some level.

There was the school nurse who helped mend our bumps and bruises at school. The principal who was either a great mentor that we looked up to, or maybe a great authority we found intimidating. Or both!

Our first crush. A person we longed for but didn’t have the nerve to approach. Maybe some did pursue their first crush. I did not. I found I simply could not talk like a normal human being if I was in their presence. I look back and think how ridiculous this is but at the time as an adolescent there was nothing funny about it. But from our first crush we learned. We moved on and met the person who gave us our first kiss. The first kiss is often depicted on tv as being sloppy and awkward but in books it is always perfect. Mine was not memorable. No sparks flew. We didn’t bump noses and I wasn’t covered in drool!

From elementary we move to junior high then senior high, or whatever it may be called where you are. We meet lots of people in these years, in and out of school.

Some of these people that have come into your life so far to this point may stay in your life. For instance, your “BFF”. They have been by your side since kindergarten. You are inseparable, joined at the hip some may say. You share everything together. Then there are those who simply drift away, whether emotionally or mentally or by a physical move. Some of these we are happy to see go, others, not so much.

When we go into college or university, or enter the workforce, we are no longer segregated into groups of people our own age. Our horizons broaden, drastically. We learn to interact daily with people who are of a different generation. We get to soak in the wisdom of someone older, as a friend with no authoritative boundaries. Or we get to share stories with someone who is younger.

The most significant mark that is left in our heart and soul is that of our spouse, however defined. This is the person that you will spend the rest of your life with. You will build a family together and grow old together. And even if you don’t, this person, I promise, will leave the biggest mark. You give over to this person everything you are, your whole being. You entrust your very self to them. If you have children together, these little people are a part of you and they will always remain a part of you; even when they grow old and have their own families.

But it doesn’t end there. After marriage you are still going to meet people who will leave their mark. With technology the way it is now, we get to broaden our horizons into worlds we have not yet even travelled and seen with our own eyes. We get to learn of other cultures by talking to those who live them and not simply by reading them in a book. You can “meet” people from around the world without leaving the comfort of your home, still in your slippers and pyjamas. You find commonalities and become “friends”. It might be someone who only says hello and asks how you are on one of the various social media tools. Or maybe they are friends you have met along the way that you reconnect with. Some friends stay in touch through these tools simply because everyone is so busy and has conflicting schedules. They can only meet up in real life once a month or every three to six months. But these “friends” all play a role and leave a mark. They are all significant in their own way. And when they leave, they too may leave a void.

Pay attention to those who come into your life. They have come for a reason. If it is a negative experience, find the positive, or think of how you may have left a positive mark on them. If it is a positive experience, embrace it.