I won’t lie to you, it’s another blog-award…

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You are never going to believe this. I’ve been nominated for another blogging award. ‘The Book Fangirling Blogging Award’ no less. And you guessed it – no cash prize. I know what you’re thinking, ‘oh please, for the love of God, not another blog award post’. But what can I do? My hands are tied. I must adhere to the blogging-award-bible. 1. Read award post. 2. Thank nominator. 3. Answer their book-related blog questions. 4. Invite five four three other cool bloggers (I chose five last time and only two took up the gauntlet which is quite understandable really) to answer five book-related questions of your own. 5. Ask those bloggers to invent five book-related questions of their own for more hapless victims lucky nominees. 5a. Hope to God people are prepared to read blog. 5b. Cry about the lack of prize money you have received this year. 5c. Wait for the next blog-award which you are unlikely to get because you’re way too sarcastic for your own good.

Thank you SO much for nominating me A J Colher! I am SO honoured and scared and proud and touched and blessed and scared to be receiving this fantastic opportunity! There was something in the rules about adding a ‘button’ or a ‘widget’ or some-such but I didn’t know what the hell that meant so I just ignored it. These are the five book-related questions you have put to me and I am going to do my level best to answer them in that self-effacing and modest way I have…

A J Colher’s questions:

1: What book would you love to see made into a movie?

Well, funny you should ask me that but there’s this little-known book called International Relations by a relatively unknown but super-witty author named Adele Archer (shameless plug much? No, don’t be silly). Seriously though, it’s weird you ask this (positively spooky even) because I’ve actually entered a competition to have my book turned into a movie. Really. And I’m right on course for certain rejection and failure. But if I should happen to get lucky and those judges lose all sense of reason and their very ability to distinguish good from bad, I’ll be winning a trip to L.A. to talk to some top movie moguls. So my American friends, I’ll catch you for coffee state-side, yeah? Mine’s a skinny mocha.

2: If you could rewrite the ending of any book, which and why?

‘The Wizard Of Oz’. Okay, I’ll be honest, I’ve never read it (who needs to when Judy Garland does such a bang-up job?) but I’ve seen it a bazillion times. And I’m not ashamed to say I totally love it. Except for the ending. Anything that ends with, ‘it was all a dream’ is a huge sodding cop-out. That goes for ‘Alice in Wonderland’ too. Not that I like ‘Alice in Wonderland’. It’s super-weird and irritating. But it also ends up being ‘just a dream’, which like I say, is a truly sucky ending. It’s like Bobby Ewing waking up in the shower after being killed off a couple of years earlier in a misguided episode of Dallas. Sucky.

3: Which fictional character would you love to date?

If you think I’m going to say Edward Cullen from Twilight, you couldn’t be more wrong. And it isn’t that dull Jacob Black the werewolf-bloke either. If I was Bella Swan I’d ditch both of those miserable losers. But then I wouldn’t be Bella because she’s a bleaty, whiny, clingy whinger who grates on your very last nerve. No, I’m going to choose Edward Rochester from Jane Eyre. He’s moody, gruff and enigmatic with a loving heart underneath. There’s nothing like a brooding, misunderstood male protagonist. And Mr Darcy would come a close second. But I’m not choosing him because trillions of other women would chose him and there’s nothing worse than being one of the crowd. Nothing. I’m sorry Mr Darcy, but you’re a victim of your own success.

4; What is your best memory of early childhood reading/ the book that’s had most impact on the rest of your life?

The Narnia series. I read them all from cover to cover numerous times during my childhood. They were the first books which allowed me to retreat into a different world and provided real escapism from all my childhood problems (swallows repressed angst and conceals twitching eye whilst rocking in foetal position in corner).

5; Do you have any pet peeves when it comes to reading?

I know it’s a little shallow of me but I don’t enjoy starting a new book. I secretly want to dislike it and if it doesn’t get going in the allotted time period I have allocated (usually two pages), I am off looking for another book. I have the attention span of a bored preschooler so I need to have my interest grabbed pretty darn quickly. If I was an author, I would hate to have me as a reader…oh…wait…

And my LUCKY blogging nominees (who I have hand-picked due to their rapier-like wit and ability to field ambiguous book-related questions) are:

Jeremy Crow

Tim Clark

S. Bradley Stoner

AND, of course, all my other non-blogging friends who’d like to take part in the comments section below.

My questions ©:

1: My least favourite book is ‘Snow Falling on Cedars’. If my bed was a little wonky, I would probably prop it up with that. Which book would you prop your bed up with?

2: You’re only allowed eBooks OR real books for the rest of your life (now, don’t be pretentious), which would you choose?

3: ‘Hunger Games’ or ‘Quiddich’, which is the suckiest sport?

4: If your life story was made into a biography, what chapter would you ask them to leave out?

5: Bloggers are renowned for being a peaceful peoples, but which character from which book (other than Bella Swan from Twilight) would you most like to slap?

Well, thanks again for suffering reading my blog this Saturday! And I know what you’re thinking; ‘she used this blog-award because she didn’t have another blog written for this weekend’. Well, yeah, so? It’s not easy coming up with new material once a week, y’know. Plus it’s the kid’s school holidays and they kind of expect me to do stuff. I know, selfish. Anyway, I hope we’ve all had fun and really learned something. Or at least we’ve filled a few minutes of a Saturday that could have been far better spent doing something else. But the main thing is, we bonded.